Because Shut Up. Shut Up is Why

((This is funny and sad because of the new update. It seems we are not getting it anymore, so have a Dirk/Jake porn pesterlog, uu style! I had this roleplay with my moirail just a couple of hours ago. She was uu and I played as Dirk. BEWARE! Nonsensical bullshit, crappy english, OOCness and REALLY bad jokes))

uu: DIRK I WANT TO PLAY A GAME

uu: AND BY GAME I MEAN MAKING YOu DRAW SOME SHAMEFuL PORN TO PLEASE ME

TT: Alright what do you want now?

TT: Just tell me and I shall deliver.

uu: YOu WILL DRAW ME SOME GOOD PORN. INCLuDING YOuRSELF. AND THE JAKE HuMAN.

TT: Now we are talking.

TT: Doing what.

uu: SOMETHING. SCANDALOuS.

uu: JAKE THE HuMAN MuST BE OBLIVIOuS TO YOuR FEELINGS, WHILE YOu JuST STAND THERE AND GIVE HIM A PENETRATING LOOK.

uu: A LOOK. FuLL. OF. LOVE.

uu: HuRRY uP. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

TT: There you go.

TT: Now what?

TT: Just ogling the subject of your affections isn’t enough, right?

uu: NO, IT IS NOT. YOu ARE A COOL GuY IN MY PORN. I’VE DECIDED YOu ARE GOING TO ACT SMOOTHLY ON THE SuBJECT. SO, SHuT uP.

uu: TAKE THE HuMAN OuT OF HIS BLISSFUL IGNORANCE. TELL HIM YOuR DEEPEST FEELINGS.

uu: MAKE YOuRSELF SAY.

uu: “BE MINE”

uu: LIKE A COOL GuY WOuLD. uNLIKE THE REAL YOu WOuLD.

uu: MAKE SuRE JAKE HuMAN IS ASTOuNDED.

TT: I’ll disregard the obvious insult for the sake of the conversation.

TT: Here.

TT: How’s that for a cool ass motherfucker?

uu: OH FuuuCK. THAT’S REALLY *COOL*

uu: THE GREEN BITCH IS ALL OVER YOu NOW.

TT: That he is. What’s next?

uu: NOW HE IS READY FOR YOu TO ENGAGE A MORE DIRECT APPROACH.

uu: YOu ARE GOING TO. KISS. HIS. HAND.

uu: JuST LIKE THE STuPID PRINCE YOu ARE.

uu: YOu ARE GOING TO KISS HIS HAND SO HARD HIS GuNS ARE GOING TO FALL OFF HIS PANTS.

TT: Done.

TT: What now.

uu: NOW. YOu TAKE YOuR NEW SWEETHEART. AND RIDE A PONY TOGETHER.

TT: A pony.

uu: YOu JuST LOVE TO RIDE PONIES WITH HIM. HE EMBRACES YOu TO MAINTAIN STABILITY ON THE HOOFBEAST.

TT: Served.

TT: Look at us, riding into the sunset.

uu: uuuuuuuGH

uu: SO *EXPLICIT*

uu: NOW. KISS.

uu: YOu ARE GOING TO OSCULATE ON THE EQuINE.

uu: IS GOING TO BE FuCKING PRECIOuS.

TT: Man, are you sure? Seems like a little bit too much for you.

uu: YES, I AM. SHuT uP AND DRAW.

uu: YOu ARE GOING TO EXCHANGE SOME HuMAN SALIVATIONS ON THAT PONY.

uu: AND YOu ARE GOING TO STOP BEING COOL. AND RETuRN TO YOuR NORMAL SELF. WHO IS REALLY uNCOOL. AND FAINT.

TT: I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.

uu: I AM PRETTY MuCH AWARE. NOW DRAW ME SOME LuSTFuL HuMANS.

TT: There you go man. Hope you’re satisfied.

uu: I SuRELY AM. SO *NAAAASTY*. SuCH OBCENE ART YOu MAKE.

TT: Hey I just deliver. You are the one with the fluffiness fetish.

uu: SILENCE. NOW. THIS NEEDS MORE DRAMA.

TT: Oh God.

uu: HuMAN ROXY APPEARS AND STEALS HuMAN JAKE FROM YOu. DON’T ASK ME HOW I’M NOT THE ONE DRAWING.

uu: MAKE THAT CANDY BITCH TAKE YOuR HuBBIE.

TT: Oh shit. Look at the drunken bitch taking Jake away.

uu: WONDERFuL. SHE MuST DELIVER THE PRESENT THAT JAKE HuMAN HAS BECOME NOW. MAKE THE BITCH DELIVER THE PRESENT TO JANE THE HuMAN THIS INSTANT.

uu: JAKE THE HuMAN IS NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY ABOuT IT.

TT: Delivered. Jake is about to experience an emotional breakdown.

uu: JAKE THE HuMAN’S DESPERATION IS GREAT. BuT NOW. I NEED YOu TOO. STORM IN AND CLAIM YOuR BELOVED. WITH YOuR SWORD.

uu: MAKE THE BITCHES STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

TT: I see. Introducing some heroic shit, uh? Ok, here goes.

TT: Storming heroically to recue my beloved.

TT: Distress ensues among enemy lines. My beloved is mesmerized.

TT: Followed by an obligatory heroic pose while pushing the offending bitches away.

uu: YES. FuCK YES.

uu: NOW. YOu MuST TAKE YOuR DEAR ONE BACK. REuNITE IN A TENDER EMBRACE. THAT WOuLD DO.

TT: Alright. Is that ok?

uu: FuuuuCK. ALL THE *LOVE*. CAN YOu FEEL IT, DIRK?

TT: Of course I can. That shit oozes love.

TT: So, are we done here?

uu: YOu WOuLD WISH. IS NOW TIME FOR THE SHITTY TWIST OF THE STORY.

TT: Oh, right.

TT: I forgot you have some incredibly stupid twist that will wreck my shit and make me lose the game.

uu: …

uu: DID YOu JuST CALL THE TWIST “STuPID”?

uu: WOAH MAN. FuCKING RuDE.

uu: YOu KNOW WHAT? FuCK YOu, AND FuCK ALL OF THIS. YOu DON’T DESERVE TO KNOW THE TWIST.

TT: Wait, what?

undyingumbrage [uu] ceased jeering timaeusTestified [TT]

TT: Asshole.

Anonymous asked: are you going to the beatles: the lost concert" movie when it comes out next month?

It actually looks pretty cool! However, I don’t think I’ll be here in the US by the time it comes out. I’ll have to watch it later~

Now that nobody is awake it is timE FOR ME TO WISH A HAPPY HOMESTUCK TO EVERYBODY 8D

Maaaan I’m such an awful fan I will just sumbit the shittiest WIP ever and go tHE FUCK TO SLEEP DAMMIT

SOON…

Hopefully way later today… G’night ppl >A>

dameofspace:

capriciousguru:

maverickideas:

everybodyska:

babeshades:

thesecretbutt:

johnegsexual:

carefreeprincess-berryboo:

mr2bonclay:

D—-> Easy enough I suppose

Simple Enough.

wwell fuckin shit

D —> Well then

wwell cod damn do i type like this or tHiS

D—> mmmmNOPE

WHAT?! BUT-BUT- I DON’T WANT TO YELL AT EVERYONE!

tOo bAd bRo iT CoUlD Be WoRsE

It cOuLd aLwAyS Be wOrSe :o(

i guess that i c0uld give it a sh0t

TH4NKS GOD FOR MY P4TRON >:] TH1S 1S GONN4 B3 GR34T

(Source: roxylalondeseyelashes)